[Update item added at #10 below]

For the first time in a week, yesterday I didn’t run the pressure washer. 

It all began over a week ago with her comment that the patio (full width of the back of the house, covered and screened) was stained.

Well, yes.

A few years ago I had built tables across the entire rear edge and installed drip irrigation for more pots than could fit, so she could put potted plants anywhere she wanted to back there.  Partial sunlight, reasonable wind protection, easy frost prevention, and total water control. 

And lots of dirt getting on the patio floor, along with whatever fertilizer chemicals might be in there at one time or another. 

For various reasons over the span of two or three years the potted plant collection dwindled and with the remaining three or four pots being a sparse population, plus the fact that she was correct about the staining, well, I had to agree it was time to clean the place up.

When we bought the place in 2000 it looked like it had the original 1988 paint.  Not good.  Before I painted the place I bought a 2600psi pressure washer and took it down to bare concrete block.  I think doing that pressure wash made a big difference.  In doing that and using a good primer I have a good paint coat on the house today, and I admit it is better than I expected it to be at this point.

So, last Friday I pulled the pressure washer out, checked the engine and pump oil levels, gassed it up, and ran it up to clear the storage RV antifreeze.  I spent most of the day trying to clean the patio, but spent more than half the time trying to move the water to the other end of the patio where the only door is.  I was getting nowhere fast and my back was really feeling it due to the constant bending.

On Saturday morning she joined in, I spraying and she pushing water.  It was not easy and we went at it again on Sunday, ending up with a less than perfect result, but an acceptable one.  

Then I shifted to the driveway, the walkway to the front door, and the sidewalk running parallel between the house and the street.  Yes, I know that latter one is county property, as is the grass on the other side of it, but I have to look at it all the time and the county couldn’t care less about it.  Well, not until the water main underneath it breaks.

All week, for several hours each day, for most of each day, it’s been pressure washing concrete.  Apart from eating pain pills like M&M’s each day, it has been an interesting experience.  And I’ve learned a few things.

1.  Some passers by, 99% live on this one-block-long street, wave as if to say, “good job!”  Others look at me like I’m the biggest idiot in the universe.  Both groups seem to be partially correct.

       The different reactions may, just may, have had something to do with an adjustment I made on the third day.

       My back was killing me because of all the bending, so I dragged out a three-legged tubular stool, adjusted the height for proper distance between spray nozzle and the ground, and proceeded to pressure wash while sitting on the stool, pushing myself slightly backward as I needed to.  I suppose it was a bit different to see as opposed to one standing and walking, but if that hadn’t worked I was ready to try my three-wheel mobility scooter.  [Jean, you just never know how something will come in handy in ways never imagined — thanks again!]

2.  Krud Kutter Concrete and Driveway Cleaner, sold at Lowes, isn’t worth a damn.  Despite the fact that the label shouts in red, white, and yellow, “Contains OIL GRABBER grease and oil cleaner,” it isn’t any better than plain water on ANY of the crud/krud on ANY of my surfaces.  I even did a half-with and half-without test on one large oil spot (large but not severe) and it failed miserably.  Whatever their magic ingredient is supposed to be, if the product were a foodstuff, that ingredient would be listed last by quantity.  The product is absolutely useless.

3.  Good, cold beer makes the job easier.  Do not apply or pour.  Simply ingest.

4.  Lizards are cool.
     Bear with me on this one. OK?

       I’m sitting in front of a fan, cooling off in the garage, with a beer and a bowl of red beans and rice (the last batch of red beans came out particularly good, if I do say so myself, and I do), looking out over the partially washed driveway.

       The damned place looks like a lizard convention!  Now we’re used to seeing dozens of them around the place — they particularly like the screen walls of the patio and the top of the wooden fence a couple of feet beyond — and frankly, I like the little suckers.  They are sleek, aerodynamic, able to climb anything, agile, fast in the sprint, able to change color, and that throat bloating is just plain cool.  We’ve got ‘em in all sizes, from “were you born this morning?” to “man, you’ve seen all of this world, haven’t you?!”  

       But this was different.  They weren’t working together, but they were all doing the same thing and it was terribly interesting to watch.  Apparently my pressure washing along the edges of the concrete disturbed a whole bunch of bugs (Tru-Green Chemlawn, are you listening?).  Some of those bugs mistakenly headed for open ground, that being the driveway, and apparently every lizard with a mile was watching.  Or maybe they had a scout on the roof.  Or whatever.

       There was the damnedest feast and scurrying going on out on the driveway, and not many bugs survived.  I have seen that many bugs in one place before (hey, I’m originally from New Orleans), but I have never seen that many lizards in one place before.

       It was definitely a hell of a sight to see, and I caught myself looking down into the bowl of red beans more than once just to double check what I was scooping up.   

       By the time I was finished eating, the lizards had cleaned off the driveway in their own way. 

5.  Beer makes the job easier.  Bacardi Silver malt beverage works nicely, too.  Smirnoff Ice is a decent second choice for me.

6.  If you’re using the wand that came with your pressure washer you may be doing it the hard way.  And I learned that the hard way.

       When I did the walls a few years ago it was easy — water runs off vertical surfaces quite nicely without assistance, thank you, and there is no need to bend to get the spray tip close to the surface for max effectiveness.

       Horizontal surfaces, however, are a different story.  My back is problematic to begin with, and after several days of really painful work and even more painful evening recoveries, I bought a 36-inch extension.  Well, I thought it was an extension, but it turned out to be a replacement for the tubing part of the wand.  Instead of extending the wand by 36 inches, it simply replaced the 19-inch tube.  So, net gain is 17 inches.

       And it is perfect.  I’m 6′ 1″ and that length is a perfect fit for me.  For the first hour or so of using it my body kept telling me to lean over (who says muscle memory isn’t real) as I’d done in the past, but after that it was easy to adjust to staying erect and letting the wand length do the reaching rather than my back muscles.  I’ll never again use that washer without that longer wand on it. 

7.  Oil based cement sealer gives me a really bad headache.  I don’t know how to get any more open air than on the patio — three sides are only screen — and the stuff doesn’t have much odor to it at all when opening the can or rolling it out, but on both days I’ve used it I’ve had terrible headaches afterward.  I’m not looking forward to doing the last-time-in-my-lifetime coat in the morning.  The sealer that will go on a hour later, on the walkway to the front door, is solvent based.  By the time I begin that it won’t make much difference if that one is just as bad.

8.  Some who absolutely know better than any and every manufacturer, who ask you to help with the instructions and then blatantly refuse to follow them, will, upon seeing you pressure washing your place, suddenly consider pressure washing their own sidewalk and driveway a life sustaining necessity. 

       And they will want to use your pressure washer to do it.  You know the washer — the one that takes non-detergent oil for the pump, the one that requires oil for both the engine and the pump, the one that uses water flow to cool the pump, so it can’t be left running when the wand is not spraying (2 minutes max) and hot water cannot be used — yeah, that washer.  The one that wasn’t cheap, still isn’t, and has just enough quirks that instructions best be followed. 

       Yep, knowing this one is mine, not rented:  
          Day 1.  Can I borrow it?  Rent it to me?
                            (No, you don’t follow instructions.)
          Day 2.  How much is that to rent at Home Depot?  Can I try it?
                            (No idea.  Yes, I’ll be right here taking a break.)
                            (Move to your right– you missed a spot.)
          Day 3.  Ohhh, too much at Home Depot. 
                       What am I going to do?
                       I have to do mine.
                            (No, you don’t.)

       Ain’t gonna happen, folks.  Hand tools, yes.  Electrical power tools, depends.  Engine driven tools, no way, no how.

 9.  Beer makes      Oh, OK.  Sorry.  Already covered that I guess.

10. Saturday, 10/04/08:  I worked quickly this morning, rolling out that final sealer coat on the patio.  That was almost 4 hours ago and no headache, so I must have outrun it.

        An hour or so later, after a break, we taped the walkway edges from the front step to the front of the garage and rolled out the solvent based sealer.  It spread well, but the can is misleading regarding the color.

        On the picture (H&C’s “Bombay” color) it shows a slight reddish/pinkish tint, much like other brands’ “sand” color.  Well, according to H&C, all those tech support people we talk to at Microsoft are in a drab environment where everything in Bombay is made of raw concrete – it is clearly a shade of gray.  It’s OK, but not what I wanted.  Tomorrow morning will be the second and final coat, using every drop remaining.  This is cutting it close and the stuff is available only in gallon and 5-gallon quantities, nothing smaller.